Sandra Flear, a registered psychotherapist talks about how our childhood baggage can be created, and what to do when it bubbles up in adulthood, preventing the peaceful aspect to your parenting. The background here is a pretty essential read:

"Painful or frightening incidents that happen to a child can become understandable after a supportive person has listened to the child’s emotional upset all the way through, and the child feels whole again. ...Overwhelming events become traumas, separated from our full awareness, if they are not seen and held by a trusted adult.

"Stored emotion from a hurtful past experience can be recognized by its tendency to flare up suddenly, causing emotion far more intense in proportion to what is presently occurring. ...When stored emotions are ignited, you may behave in ways that you don’t want to with your children.

"You can also become more and more skilled with working to release the stored feelings you carry. ... Having a caring listener, or a few caring listeners, is the best resource to do that, and is essential at times."

Read more about this wonderfully supported practice here.